Mongo only pawn in game of life...

...but I know when the railroad is about to roll over my town.

Gulf of Mexico oil spill 2010: The worst-case scenario

...hang on and let me try to pull my balls out of my stomach....6 million gallons a day?

Per Krewe of Truth:

Noted environmental attorney Stuart H. Smith of Smith Stag Law Firm, New Orleans, Louisiana is concerned about a catastrophic failure of the BP Deepwater Horizon wellhead and fluid control systems.

Mr. Smith released the following statement:

“In contacting and retaining experts due to my representation of commercial fisherman and the Louisiana Environmental Action Network relative to the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, I believe there is a strong possibility of a total failure of the BP Deepwater Horizon fluid control system.

According to experts in the industry I have spoken to confidentially, the pipes from which the oil is currently leaking act as a choke on the oil flowing from the formation.

A catastrophic failure could easily result in the release of 60,000 to 100,000 barrels of oil per day. For example, the ThunderHorse Prospect developed around 2006 is yielding this type of volume of oil.

At that rate of release, there could easily be a significant threat not only to the environment but to public health for those downwind of the oil slick. Air discharges of components of oil, such as benzene a known human carcinogen, and other volatile organic compounds could be significant.

It is imperative that BP and the federal government immediately release to the public all information that they have as a result of modeling a worst case scenario. No one seems to be talking about the possibility of such a catastrophic failure and the effect on human health and the environment.

In the environmental arena, risk modeling is done day-in and day- out for every type of pollutant, whether going in the water, earth or air. Why is BP and the Environmental Protection Agency not releasing such information to the public? In light of the repeated increases in the estimates of the amount of oil being released, it clearly appears that additional failures of the pipe choke are occurring.”

Could somebody hold me?

Just let me lay my head in your lap and tell me a story about tangerine trees and marmalade skies....and that girl, the one with kaleidoscope eyes.

If I asked her, "why?"... she would answer quite slowly, "because the earth does not compromise."

The Fisheries Industry Lawsuit

Krewe of Truth has posted the Fisheries lawsuit....here's the jist:

Today, Louisiana commercial fishermen and the Louisiana Environmental Action Network are seeking a declaratory judgment and injunctive relief in the U.S. District Court, Eastern District of Louisiana, against British Petroleum, Halliburton, Transocean, Anadarko Petroleum, MOEX Offshore, Cameron International, and their subsidiaries regarding on-going damages these corporations’ actions are causing to the wetlands, waters, commercial fisheries and wildlife of Louisiana.

According to the suit, the following is being sought from the Defendants:

a) Declaratory judgment that Defendants are responsible for all damage to Louisiana’s wetland areas and waters caused by Defendants’ negligence;
b) An injunction requiring removal of all oil from, and restoration of, Louisiana’s wetland areas and waters resulting from Defendants’ negligence;
c) An injunction requiring comprehensive monitoring and testing of the waters of Louisiana that were impacted by oil as a result of Defendants’ negligence;
d) An injunction requiring a long term abatement strategy and implementation to ensure recovery of Louisiana’s wetland areas and waters that were impacted by oil as a result of Defendants’ negligence; and
e) An injunction requiring re-seeding of all oyster habitats in Plaquemines Parish and St. Bernard Parish which were impacted by oil as a result of Defendants’ negligence.

Attorney Stuart Smith, Val Exnicious, and Gladstone Jones are leading a legal team with vast experience in these types of cases. The 11 involved law firms prosecuting claims for those impacted are from Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama and Florida.

The suit does not make any financial claims at this time, said Attorney Smith. The named plaintiffs are Ray Vath, a Louisiana oysterman, and Mary Lee Orr, Director, Louisiana Environmental Action Network Inc.

"We believe this event has the potential to be the largest environmental disaster in the history of America. Without any hesitation I can report that the lawyers from Louisiana, Texas, Mississippi, Alabama and Florida who have joined together are ready to protect the interests of all those who have suffered and will continue to suffer as a result of this most unfortunate event, and like all Americans, we hope BP stops the leak soon," said Mr. Smith.
“We have worked with these lawyers for years on oil and gas issues. This is terrifying. People need to see the human, economic and environmental costs involved,” said Ms Orr.
The fisherman contend that 71 percent of all oysters consumed in the U.S. come from Louisiana oyster beds in the areas impacted by the oil spill caused by BP and its partners.

I hope to be taking a camera out Sunday with a shrimper as he desperately tries to haul in as much as he can before the entire industry is shut down. I will post that on Humid Beings next week along with some other video of how the spill is affecting the Fisheries industry. Stay Tuned.

An Order of Magnitude higher

Leaked report: Government fears Deepwater Horizon well could become unchecked gusher

No need to get hysterical.

2.1 million gallons a day at 90 days....that's 200 million gallons. The Valdez was 7 million. What does 200 million gallons of oil do to the Gulf of Mexico?

I'm not hysterical...I'm numb. I can't comprehend it.

Oh No No No No No

Obama announces he will send SWAT teams to Oil Rigs

They are looking into "the cause" of the accident. They are suggesting that this may have been a terrorist act? Bullshit. That would be incredibly convenient for BP wouldn't it?

"Don't get hysterical"

That's what Sen. Landrieu just told us. Ok, I'm not hysterical, but I'm freaking the fark out.

You can now smell it in the air, not sure if that's the burn or the actual slick.

So I'm not getting hysterical...but I have to ask these things...at what point does this become such a health threat that we start looking at evacuation? Can this thing push it's way back up into Pontchartrain? Can it push it's way back up the Mississippi? That's our sole water source for the city. What happens if we have a tropical event in the gulf?

The Cavalry begins to form

Guys...I don't know how to express how serious this situation is in the gulf. I know some of you are worried about the wildlife, but you may need to be worried about the human impact as well.

Tomorrow at 1:30 pm there is a press conference announcing a consortium of law firms are forming from 5 Gulf Coast states to represent the fisheries industry in LA, FL, TX, AL, and MS. I don't have the full info. yet but at least know that the wheels are turning.

More to come.

Don't mean to ruin your day

Oil from exploded rig in Gulf to reach Louisiana coast by Friday

It's time to panic. My sources are telling me this is very bad and getting worse by the hour. I've heard one quote that this is an "unprecedented disaster the likes of which this country has never seen before".

I had someone run through the possible scenarios with me and...well...I don't want to think about it again. Let me put it like this...it's possibly 90 days out from being capped. That puts us well into hurricane season. I'll let you imagine the possibilities.

How would you like your shrimp cocktail?

...10w30 or 10w40?

Crews to begin controlled burn of oil in Gulf

Don't mean to ruin your day, but if this doesn't work....it's time to panic.

Those goddamn communication guys....

...they just don't know how to communicate.

Firm finds 5,400 deleted e-mail messages of New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin

Issue 4.1: No uniform email retention policy exists
During interviews, Office of Technology personnel stated that no email policy or
Acceptable Use Policy existed. Further research by SunBlock located an email policy
dated May 13, 2008 on the City site at:
http://www.cityofno.com/Portals/Portal98/Resources/EmailPolicies.pdf
However, this policy is not widely known. In order for a policy to be implemented, it
must be uniformly disseminated so that employees understand it exists.

Neitzsche said, "Out of chaos, comes order."

Oh, blow it out your ass Harold...

Never mind that shit, here comes Mongo!

run

Please don't peel the onion

City facing shortfall of about $25 million for 2010, revenue estimating group says

I had estimated that we would be between 30 million and up to 200 million in the hole when the next administration took over. Both Landrieu's admin. and these city officials are estimating the low end of my guess....but....I fear they may not be taking some critical factors into account.

1. The Revolving Fund - I still have not seen a total expenditure amount on the fund and I'm very concerned that large chunks of that cash were misappropriated.

Let's just take the largest amount I know of, 18 million bucks for the Mahalia Jackson Theater. If that project is rejected by FEMA ....oy vey.

There could be myriad other expenditures from the fund which we have yet to discover.

I hope I'm wrong.

2. LRA/ D-CDBG Funds - Has any of this money been misappropriated? I have heard that is the case and if so, how much? If HUD comes knocking and asks for money back....it could be a massive chunk of cash.

I hope I'm wrong.

So not to toot my own horn, but I was nearly right on the money on the low end...I said the low end would be 30 million. The high end is contingent on how much federal money the Nagin administration may have misappropriated.

I'm just letting you know the news may get worse.

I hope I'm wrong.

You're on....I'll take Noonan

The Media's Golf Double Standard

Here's how he should handle this controversy...he should invite me to play golf with him. Not only will I destroy him on the links, I will bust his balls to get all the state secrets I can muster in an 18 hole round. In fact I'll take the top 18 pressing questions of the country and for every hole I beat him he has to answer a question.

The Winds of Change

Here we go, diggydawgs.....it's time to hit the reset button.

Mayor Landrieu's transition team has just released a request for resumes for an interim CIO to serve the city of New Orleans. While the new mayor's transition efforts for the city's IT infrastructure haven't been front page news, I have heard they are working diligently behind the scenes to take the reigns (maybe I should say pick up the pieces) from Nagin's admin. and hit the ground running next month.

In accordance with that, the transition team released this request for an interim CIO:

(Interim) Chief Information Officer, City of New Orleans

If you've got the stuff, please step up to the plate and help the city get back online (figuratively and literally).

Exciting times....be a part of it.

It's ok to abuse women, just don't hurt dogs

Ben Roethlisberger SUSPENSION: Suspended SIX Games

Here's a hypothetical question for you. If Ben Roethlisberger was caught in a dog fighting ring, would he have received the same treatment Michael Vick did?

Better yet, if Michael Vick locked himself in a bathroom with a girl in Georgia and had his bodyguards bar the door, and the woman then claimed sexual assault, would he have received the same treatment Roethlisberger did?

Just curious.

Bloggers are terrorists...you betcha!

I was with her right up until 2:40 when she couldn't figure out how to identify which bloggers to bomb.

hmmmm....

I've got an idea, Kathleen, let's just bomb them all! Maybe we can get Raytheon to develop a smart bomb to distinguish which bloggers to take out. Until then, let's just pull the nuclear option and wipe 'em all out.

When and where is the next blogger's convention? Remind me not to go.

It's funny she quoted George Will saying "Because we're conservative doesn't mean we have to take a leap into the darkness." She then performed a glorious double flip cannonball right into the deep end.

Watching this interview is like watching two horse and carriage drivers lament the difficulties of traversing a 6 lane freeway.

Here's a thought for them from the dark historic recesses of conservative dogma....adapt or die.

Or wait....maybe she's suggesting...no...couldn't be.....government regulation of free speech on the internet? That would be 1. expanding the power of government and 2. an attack on the Constitution. That's not much of a conservative platform, now is it?

You're gonna love this one

After months of trying to get my hands on the 2nd lawsuit involving the crime cameras, Camsoft v. Southern Electronics Supply, Inc. A legal eagle bro in Baton Rouge came through for me.


Suffice to say I am a little confused and need some more legal eagle zombie readers to chime in here for me.

Upon looking at the list of defendants in the case, I was somewhat surprised to see that both Greg Meffert and Mark Kurt are being defended by city attorney, Bob Ellis.


I know Ellis defended Meffert in the original civil case but I thought that was because the city itself was listed as a defendant in that case. What I don't understand is how a city attorney can defend Meffert and Kurt on the city's dime if they are listed as individuals in this lawsuit....is that legal? Can the city legally provide counsel for these guys on this lawsuit?

UPDATE: I made the clarification in the comment section but I just want to say it again, I was not implying that Attorney Ellis had done anything wrong, I was asking if the city is within its legal right to provide counsel for Meffert and Kurt.

The title of the post was not meant to point out who the city attorney is, I meant "you're not going to believe that we are once again paying for legal fees arising from the stupid shit which has happened in this administration's tenure."

I received a reply to the question and was informed that the petition filed referred to Meffert/Kurt's role as "individual and official capacity". I assume the "official capacity" is the qualifying term which allows the city to provide legal counsel.

Zombieflash: Entire City Disappears

...from the intertubes that is...

I was getting rather frustrated this morning trying to access a press release from the city website...I kept getting a server time out:

http://www.cityofno.com/

I figured it was something on my end...I figured wrong. Whenever in doubt, apply occam's razor....why would I not be able to access the city website? Because there is a technical issue with the website? Or wait a minute....what if....what if the city didn't pay the internet bill?

Nah...couldn't be....DOH!

Apparently the city is so far past due on payments to ATT, they finally were forced to pull the plug. So not only is the city portal down, I'm being told these city services are also defunct:

- blackberry
- off-site email
- NOPD electronic police reporting
- payment processing

I'm not completely sure how this is affecting the NOPD but I'm afraid to find out....it could be a public safety issue.

I suppose Boyd may be honoring my wish to return back to the Flintstones. But hey, on the bright side we were able to pay the portrait artist the money needed to paint Ray's portrait....we still have our priorities in order.

UPDATE: Hey one of my fellow bloggers pointed out that it is 4/20.....fuck it man....we don't need no water let the muthafucka burn!

UPDATE 2: Hey isn't it Digital Unplugged week or some stupid shit like that? Maybe we can just pass it off under that.

UPDATE 3: I'm getting word that productivity in City Hall has increased 20% since this morning.

One city employee was seen wandering the halls mumbling, "What year is it? Man do I have one helluva hangover....is that Nagin dude gone yet?" This supports my theory that City Hall employees were under an electronically induced hypnotic trance created by Boyd and Sunblock. Now is your chance people....run....run like the wind!

SERIOUS UPDATE 1: I'm hearing the bill hasn't paid in over a year and ATT is demanding full payment.

UPDATE 4: Word is the city has turned on the Meffert Bat Signal in hopes that maybe he can go jack Best Buy and set up another ad-hoc wi-fi network like he did during Katrina. I think they're gonna try and jack a signal from the Bentsen building.

KIND OF SERIOUS UPDATE: NOLA's...errrr...Breaking News: New Orleans City Hall website, e-mail back in action after crashing today.

Important to note that Level 3 has to ride ATT's lines in order to provide service....but I don't know if that is a pertinent fact or not.

The future is coming on...

...and it's full of fascist zombie gorillas.



Notice the dream character coming out the drummer's head....look familiar?

The Art of the Cherry Pick

Reading the recently released emails city tech. contractor Sunblock reportedly recovered from Mayor Nagin's missing email database is kind of like watching Fox News....the information seems suspiciously orchestrated.

Nagin administration releases some of the mayor's newly found e-mails

Let's see.....Ray never threatened Fielkow, Karen Gadbois is lying about NOAH, Ray was concerned about Councilperson Head's safety in council chambers, The Time Picayune, Lee Zurik and bloggers are evil, Chris Rose is an asshole (Honore concurs), Ray was worried about General Mize clearing "legal hurdles" regarding the Federal City development (very strategic Ray as we both know there's good reason to be worried), and most importantly....Ray Nagin is the second coming of Martin Luther King, Jr.

What an interesting smattering of data.

I'm glad we're paying SunBlock upwards of 80k to perform that mystical voodoo they do to recapture these important moments in our city's history. Too bad SunBlock won't comment on the ancient Chinese secret they used to get those choice emails...I have a hunch I know how it works though....wanna hear my theory? No? Well bugger off, I'm gonna tell you anyway.

I think it happened like this....after CTO Harrison Boyd had a city employee (was that you Mikey?) illegally wipe out the mayor's emails, he doesn't count on Mark Lewis and the LTC going off the reservation and ratting him out. He is then forced to shut them out and goes back to his home court of D.C. to rustle up a more loyal peep, David Sun and Sunblock, at an initial cost of 15k. Sunblock assures us they can find those pesky missing emails using some super secret gizmo technology the LTC and Carrolton Technologies don't have access to. Of course the 15k is just the appetizer and for their loyalty and compliance, Boyd inflates their contract towards 6 numbers and then has them selectively produce a string of harmless emails in an attempt to quell the controversy....strategically waiting until the near end of the mayor's term to throw that meatless bone to the hounds of inquisition.

You see Boyd has a history of tapping his home court resources when he needs help, i.e., Telecommunications Development Corp. (TDC), the city's current prime IT vendor who Boyd contracted last summer to handle things like....ohhh say....the same thing he payed SunBlock an extra 50k to do... create "data rentention and implementation policies". That sounds so technical doesn't it?

I wonder if David Sun can comment on exactly what SunBlock did to help the city accomplish the data retention and implementation policies. I realize the super secret method they used to retrieve the missing emails may fall under proprietary company methodology, but I would really like to find out exactly what SunBlock did to address "data retention" that our prime IT contractor TDC couldn't accomplish under their multi-million dollar contract. Is that too much to ask?

Come to think of it, let's ask TDC why they weren't capable of performing that task. Maybe we should place a call to TDC Vice-President Roger Richmond....you know Harrison Boyd's wife's sister's son. If we get him or Harrison on the phone, maybe we can also ask them how the IT staffing company, Strategic Staffing, didn't win the IT contract even though they were the lowest bidders.

I get it H.B., you gotta have people under your thumb who you can trust....like your nephew, huh?

That's some darn good cherry pickin'....but I'm curious...is it actually legal?

Desperately seeking Clio

It appears the object of my passion has bid me a fair adieu.

I long for her touch.

These muses....they're fickle creatures.

I've been trying to fill the void of her absence with pop culture...because I know Clio would disapprove.

I just watched Horton Hears a Who with my zombilings....good stuff, highly recommended.

That's about all I got in me.

Oh btw, did you know Ted Geisel was a vigilant, propaganda warrior against the Nazis?

Happy Zombie Day

Osiris, Dionysus, Lazarus, Dambala, J.C......we are risen.

I give you the secret zombie formula: